THE ‘BBQ’

For those of you who don’t know who Chris tettenborn is, he is a born-again party animal of the Granada east-side massive, which looking bad should have made me expect more than I did when he said ‘come over tonight, my housemates are having a BBQ’. Needless to say it wasn’t a BBQ in any way shape or form, it was however, an awesome night. He lives with 9 other eramus students, all from different countries, in a massive house in the centre of Granada which can only be described as an ERASMUS house. Its covered in cool graffiti, artwork (usually of the nude variety) it has the most amazing roof terrace kitted out with big ass speakers and sofas galore. We defo need somewhere like this in 4^th year!! The night started off quite tame, we got there at about midnight and after climbing 4 flights of stairs to get to the roof, arrived at the beautiful terrace! There was chilled Jamaican music, a massive pot of sangria with a huge ladle, drunken Europeans loving life….the night had definite potential!

It got to about 2am and I was freezing and went hunting for an infamous fuseball table finally found it in the basement and we carried on our night down there - just four brits and an awful lot of rum. God knows what time it was, when we had a rather interesting visitor. He strolls in looking rather cocky, (comment for green’s benefit- yes he was foreign!), and as you do, you ask him his name and where he is from …. ‘I M’LADY AM OMAR’ (imagine really strong almost israelly accent). ‘ Well…my mum is from the Hamptons and my dad is from queens…’, obviously complete bullshit, but my drunken friend still came out with ‘reallllllly?’. At this point he declares his love and whisks her away to attempt to climb up to the highest piece of furniture in the room. This fails and he accidently hits my friend in the vagina with his bottle of wine, which didn’t go down too well. They also managed to almost ruin an oil painting of the Virgin Mary in the process.

My friend JJ then decides she deserves a ‘PROPER’ proposal, and Omar accepts this as the only acceptable step forward in their relationship. So tries to get down on one knee, fails and encourages her to climb on the sofa instead so he doesn’t have to bend down. And this point, in the semi darkness, quick as a flash he reaches into the front of his trousers, and pulls something out, leaving my friend screaming hysterically and the rest of us wondering what the hell just happened!! Turns out he had been keeping a rather large green apple in his boxers (quote: ‘cos his pockets weren’t big enough’.). My friend soon admitted for a split second she thought it was a horrendously deformed penis he had whipped out! Sooner or later this interesting character ran out of tricks and left.

The next bit of excitement of the evening was the shouts down from atleast 4 flights of stairs that cake was ready!! We race up only to be completely ambushed by handfuls of cake!! Needless to say we ended up covered in white frosting!!! Two days later I was still finding sticky patches in my hair.    

Peace out homies! I think I’ve bored you enough by now!

X x X x